It's been a while. Each day goes by and some kind of work gets done, all kinds of words are said, text messages sent, and many many thoughts get spun around in my mind.
Every now and then, I start my day without thought. There are a few peaceful moments and then, as the minutes go by, the thoughts start to come in. Things that annoyed me yesterday. Something someone said or did that "bothered" or "offended" me. Notice the "me" nature of these thoughts? In these thoughts, I am my whole world. Everything revolves around "me", what I prefer, what I believe, what I don't like and the way I want my day to go.
Enter, ahem, the Ego.
The Ego needs to be right, it needs things to be in perfect order according to itself. Anything else just won't do. To be honest, I am very tired of this Ego thing. And I'm sharing this with you, in case you are too.
For the past 9 months, I have been part of a program called the Inner MBA, put on by Sounds True. The course focuses on Mindfulness and Awareness, self-regulation, meditation, and business (yeah!). It was an incredible program, and with the help of my fellow learners, I participated in many many meditations. And it was life changing. Much peace can be established by just 10 minutes of sitting in silence daily. But it's not always easy; things come up, thoughts want to dominate, and giving up comes naturally.
It's kind of like exercising. When first starting, whether in a gym or a yoga studio, is not easy! Your body is not liking it, because it's hard. But then you start to feel better, you notice how strong you're getting.
That's where I'm at: somewhere between "it's hard" and "but it really makes me feel better". The only way away from this Ego thing is to go within, because the truth is not on the surface with Ego.