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What's So Intuitive?: An Honest Reflection

Updated: Dec 28, 2021

I must create space so that my intuition has room to come and play.

12/7/21

 

In this life, I believe we are all on the journey to finding ourselves.,,


I found the medium of metal very intuitively. I was a Fine Arts Major with a focus in Painting, and for most of my life the work I had done was two dimensional. This is to say I never found it in my wheelhouse to expand into the third dimension. I was content building dimension on paper with tone, darkness and light.


And when I took a jewelry class, my past experiences came to play. Working in the third dimension was really hard. But also, really rewarding. Seeing designs come to life off the paper was a new form of invigorating. And the carving, forming, and finicky traits of metal were elusive and interesting. Never had I touched a material similar. The attachment that I felt to this material was deep.


And so now, as I deal with the questioning and doubt that accompanies my decisions and actions, I have to remind myself that "I know". I may not know on the surface but intuitively, I certainly do. As an artist, (and I can only speak for myself) I go through a tug-of-war sort of exchange in my mind and body whenever I try to make art. One side spewing out ideas and inspiration like lava, and the other a bucket of water that puts out the embers. I feel it in my stomach now.


So what do I do?

I am working at mindfulness but feel such great resistance. My body wants to keep doing what it's been doing, going through the internal struggle that holds me motionless.


As a write I remind myself to:

-practice breathing techniques

-observe what is happening in my body

-bring self compassion

-take opposite-action


By doing these things, I create space, and take a step away from the internal dialogue that I just wrote out. The mind is a tricky thing: when I tell myself things, I believe them. But as I have written before- my thoughts are real but not true. I choose to seek the truth. I choose to see a new way. The actions I take when believing my thoughts do not always serve me. So I must create space, so that my intuition has room to come and play- like it really wants to do.



Thanks for Being here!

~Jill


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